hell yes lets make some ravioli
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
