He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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