Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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