I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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