You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
