it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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