Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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