i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
