So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
