drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
