afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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