I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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