Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
