And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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