The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
