That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Randomize
