that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
How does one acquire holy water?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
