I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
