So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
