Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
