The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize