Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
