he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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