I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
