Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
