lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
