your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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