I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i will never coherently bang her
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize