omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
