either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Randomize
