Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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