Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Welp...herpes.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize