Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
