Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
