have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Can I color on your dick again?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
