the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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