Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
