I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
