It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
They have beer where we have blood.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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