Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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