absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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