He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
