we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
