He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
