Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
