your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
