If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
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