Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I want to make a zoo with you.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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