i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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