You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
