So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
