you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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