do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
