if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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