I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
