Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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