To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
