thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
