the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
