i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
