I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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